Realizing
by here-not-there
Summary: They belonged together. That was it. She loved him. But why? Why did she have to wait until it was too late?" Takes place during The End in The Beginning. BB *one shot*


**Wrote this after watching "The End In The Beginning" . Who thought it was an amazing yet torturing episode? (Frantically waves hand!)**

**The jumping up and down, clapping your hands at the fact that Bones and Booth were actually together to the "huh? with the club and the weird jobs everyone has" to the "yay! it's Zach!" to the "what the hell? with the case" and then to the "I-completely-forgot-that-everything-didn't-make-sense-before-but-i-don't-care-cuz-they're-having-a-baby hyper" to the "WHAT?! It was all just a DREAM?!" **

**I admit, my mind was a chaotic mess after the episode..........**

**Anywayz, we'll all find out how Booth is doing after next weeks episode! :)**

**So, along with the show! (note:it's angsty...very angsty.)  
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**Disclaimer: Nothing's mine...If it was, there would be no need for this story.  
**

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"People say you only live once. But people are as wrong about that as they are about everything. _

_In the darkest moments before dawn, a woman returns to her bed. What life is she living? Was it the same life the woman was living half an hour ago? A day ago? A year ago? Who is this man? Do they live separate lives or is it a single life shared?"_

Brennan stopped reading. What was going on? Why was it that all of a sudden she was rambling on about these feelings she'd never had before?

She rubbed her eyes wearily. She'd been sitting here for four days, never leaving Booth alone in the cold, indifferent room unless she had to go to the bathroom. Angela, Hodgins, Sweets and even Cam had tried to convince her to take a walk or at least go home and sleep. But she couldn't. This was her partner lying there, how could she just leave him there?

All her life, she'd been abandoned by the people she learned to trust. She was losing faith in those who were alive; those who had the power to love you and then throw you away like you were nothing. But then Booth came along. He was different. More than once did he prove that he was going to be there for her. And then he agreed to giving her a baby. What more could she have asked for?

Heaving a small sigh, she looked at Booth. There he was, lying there with the minimal signs of life.

Statistically, she knew that he was going to be alright. But what if statistics failed her? What if he never woke up? What if…

Brennan shook her head. No, she couldn't have so many negative thoughts in her head.

It's completely illogical. You can prepare yourself for the worst.

Don't listen to that. Booth's going to be alright, Bren.

But what if he falls off the statistics? What if something happens?

Statistics have never failed you before.

But life is full of uncertainties.

Brennan rubbed her temples. The voices in her head were torturing. Why wouldn't they just shut up? She fought back the tears that were threatening to come out. She had to be strong for his sake.

Her gaze drifted to her computer screen.

_"A storm approaches, still over the horizon but there is lightening in the air. Are either of them aware of the gathering turbulence? Can they feel the crackle of the electricity in the wind? Or are they only aware of the power they generate between themselves?"_

They belonged together.

That was it.

She loved him.

For the past four years, they've danced in and out, they've flirted, they've tested the waters. It was fair to say that the only thing they haven't done was straight out make the move.

She'd been denying her feelings for him since the very beginning. Angela, Cam, Hodgins, Sweets, Cam, even Zach had hinted it to her more than once. But did she listen? Nooo.

She buried her face in her hands. Oh why? Why did she have to wait till he was in a goddamn coma to finally figure out how she felt about him? Why did she have to wait till it was probably too late to realize that he was her stability, her rock, her compass, her everything? As cliché as it all sounded, it was true. Down to the very last word. She let out a scoff. She was becoming one of those cheesy girls that clang onto a man like he was the world. And yet, it was a bit frightening to say that she was enjoying it.

Brennan looked at the man she just found out she had loved for four years. Would she ever get the chance to tell him that she loved him? That the suffer she was going through right now was unbearable? That she did want to have emotional ties with him? Would she ever have the chance to see him conscious again?

_"You love someone, you open yourself up to suffering. That's the sad truth. Maybe they'll break your heart. Maybe you'll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way. Those are the risks. You see two people and think they belong together. But nothing happens._

_The thought of losing so much control over personal happiness is unbearable, that's the burden. Like wings, they have weight. We feel that weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lifts us. Burdens that allow us to fly." _

Her heart ached with every letter. She'd been shot before, she'd seen the inhumane ways of torture, she'd seen kids see their parents being executed in front of them and then being snatched away to kill other parents. But that pain was nothing compared to what she was feeling right now.

She took a deep breath and pressed delete. Booth wouldn't want her to agonize over this. He'd want her to be happy.

That was the least she could do for him right now. She could try to hold up.

"Such…such a weird dream."

Brennan's head shot up at the familiar sound. He was awake! He was okay!

"Booth…Booth! You're awake!" Brennan rushed over to his side, relieved that he was okay.

"So real…"

"Your operation was a success, but you reacted poorly to the anesthia. You've been in a coma for 4 days. It took you so long to wake up."

"It felt so real."

_What was he talking about?_

"It wasn't real."

"Who are you?"

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**Thanks! :D  
**


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